Up until very recently, I thought I was suffering from Postpartum Depression (PPD). My son is almost 5 months old, and I just couldn’t shake the ‘baby blues’.
Most of my days were filled with mood swings from anger to extreme sadness to just plain emptiness. I felt lost, confused and alone. Completely terrified of how I was feeling, but just as terrified to talk about it or ask for help.
Then I started to put the pieces together with a few more symptoms. Yes, I have been ‘depressed’… but I have also been dealing with other symptoms. ’Tingling’ in my hands and feet for one. (You know that feeling when your foot has fallen asleep and is starting to wake up? That was me… every night… except it wasn’t from sleeping in a funny position!)
Then one morning I woke up with a painfully swollen tongue! (yuck, right?!) I have always had problems with a bit of swelling in my tongue (a common side-effect of anemia, which I have always had!) but this was much worse than usual, and painful… which I had never experienced before.
So… I googled. Yep. Don’t laugh… you’ve done it too!
Anyways, I googled “swollen tongue” and the first link that showed up took me to a page talking about pernicious anemia or vitamin B12 deficiency.
It was there that I put all the pieces together… the tingling hands and feet… the swollen tongue… the tiredness, weakness and forgetfulness… the clumsiness (have I told you how many times I’ve broken my toe in the past few months?! Let’s just say, it’s been more than once!)… even the depression. It all fit.
Now, I know most of you are thinking “great! what did the doctor say?”… well, I haven’t gone to the doctor about this yet.
Before you judge, please see the pieces of the puzzle (scattered on the floor as they are)… I have 2 boys under 2, with little to no help nearby. My husband works long, long hours and my family lives far away. Taking my boys with to a doctor’s appointment just seems… impossible. At least in my current mental & emotional state!
I also don’t have a regular doctor, as I have never found one I love in my 5 years living here, and I hate ‘cold-calling’ doctors.
I did hours and hours of research and the only treatment for B12 deficiency or pernicious anemia (yes, those are 2 different things… or 2 forms of a similar thing! I could have either of them.) is taking large doses of B12 for the rest of your life. There is no cure. And there is no radical treatment other than supplementing.
So, that is my plan. I will supplement and if it works, continue to do so for the rest of my life! :o) When I find a doctor, I will talk to them about all of this. Until then, I will keep on doing as I’m doing… as long as things continue to improve as they have!
